Fully, unselfishly.

I grew up never really being taught how to love. All I knew was that I was supplied with certain things, and in return, I was supposed to live up to certain expectations. As an adult, I’ve been left to piece together the rest of the puzzle, which unfortunately has left me in a strange and funny place.

I’ve attempted to form relationships with people that didn’t want them. I’ve become involved with the wrong people. Butt when it comes down to it, all I want are the essentials… 

Like it says above, I want to love my life (which I do- I love my kids and where I live and my job and my patients at the hospital) and I want to help someone love his life, too.

“Love is not selfish love, but rather caring for another, which means we help to nurture our fundamental kindness.” I wouldn’t be in it for myself. I’m a caregiver by nature. 

I have so very much love to give to the right person, good intent that I have failed to pull the reins in on just for the sake of garnering attention. It’s tragic, the things and people we lose when we lose self-control. I’m not sure if I can blame that on my mental illness, either… I was already on my medication, but in the early stages of taking it, the last time this happened. 

But above all else, “I would like to love someone who would like to communicate.” I’ve wasted too many emotions on people that get angry and shut down, refuse to speak, and all I’m left with after that are tears. I’d like to love someone that will always come back to talk, even after we argue, even after we might say things that hurt. 

Even without an example to follow, I’ve grown to learn, that’s what love is all about.

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