Having social anxiety (for me) usually means that my words are clumsy.
I sit back in awe of people whose words flow freely, that don’t have to sit back and think hard about what they’re going to say before they say it, or whether or not they should say it.
And when the words finally come out, I stumble over them, like I’m a toddler, and my syntax is sticky, like a lollipop held too long in my spitty hand.
Is it really so bad, though, to be clumsy with one’s words?
Is it bad to not want to say the first thing that pops into your head?
Some people like to preach that mental illness is simply a state of mind, and that you can convince yourself that you can “become a bad ass” if you really think hard about it.
What’s sad is that behind the facade of being a bad ass is someone that is just as clumsy as I am with words… Someone that won’t even confront the one person that dared enough to care.
Mental illness will never be something that we can talk ourselves out of. Yes, we can seek help for ourselves.
Yes, we can empower ourselves to change.
But this clumsiness? I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon.